Reflections on how i turned out to have no qualms about moving, why i move and how i feel about it
Is it 13 or 14 years ago today? I could look it up but maybe it is good that details finally start fading away and are taking a back seat. Of course this was supposed to happen at some point, but I didn’t think that it would happen to me …
My path to developing a Bullet Journal page that helps me get on top of my depression.
As every time lately, I feel like I have something to tell. I sit down and get everything ready to start writing and then the white space in front of me starts mocking me.
So much has changed in the past 36 days. That’s how long we are in isolation. 36 days of which we had about a week of good weather to sit out on the balcony. 36 days of which we went shopping 3 times and I went to the trash bin outside just as often. For the rest it’s just Hass and me. And not even that. He still needs to work and wants to play WOW when he is off. So that means 8-10 hours truly on my own.
That’s not the bit that has changed. The bit that has changed is me not being able to go to town and watch people, so i feel more connected. Not being able to go and take photographs and enjoy the world from a different perspective and not being able to have those chance encounters in the street that made it worth living in a city. And that my mood and health is going through some real rollercoaster motions. I don’t have the virus, but my body is reacting to the stress and the depression that comes with it.
Also not going to school is a hard thing for me. I knew how much school meant to me as I booked it, but I didn’t understand how much my outlook on each week had changed, until that was gone again. Then I can’t just practice at home. Firstly, I was too late with getting material and secondary, I have not even half the tools I would need to make something decent. The first thing I would need is an actual flame to heat up the metal and make it workable or to close up a jump ring or such. Still, Im watching videos and reading books on how to do it.
Im not even bored. I have plenty to keep me occupied, learn, try, create. But the same happends when trying to write as with trying to create other art… I keep staring at the page.
Anyway. I keep reminding me that I don’t need to be productive now. I don’t need to be creative.
What is your greatest challenge right now, besides feeding yourself?
I managed to pick up some ink pens and a very smooth pad of paper before we locked ourselves in for the unforeseeable future. I always liked drawing and I wanted to learn the art of making a drawing in only black and white. Ink drawings are perfect for that …
Hosting providers always pull you in with an “incredible” offer and then when your year is up, the price you are supposed to pay is 2 or 3 times as higher as you started the contract with. I always thought, that this is not the best way to keep loyal clients but it seems to work for them. I, however, move my sites and blogs to the next host and the cycle again. It does become tiring and frustrating and after witnessing my pain for the 5th time, Hass proposed to find me a solution which will mean I only pay for my usage and I don’t have to move as long as the tech titan Amazon S3 will exist.
This, however, came with another painful adjustment and bending of code and shifting posts and pictures and such… however if all goes well, its the last time for a while. I also decided with this change, to send my blog on a diet. I removed anything before 2014, except the music-related posts, revisited some of the posts to add some pictures or update the style and also gave a new jacket to the entire blog so my photography will be more prominent going forward.
A couple of strange things happened with the move and I apologize if you have gotten an e-mail confirming your comment from 4 years ago. All in all I am very happy with the changes and I hope you will enjoy this improved version!
I love visiting graveyards, walk along and look at the headstones and wonder what sort of person is buried there. and wonder what their ambitions were in life and how they imagined their last resting place to look like. “Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me. …
Everybody takes stock around this time of year. Even more so since a decade ends. I know it is just numbers, but I do think it is good to take a moment and look back at what has happened, where you come from, how that made you feel and crystalize …
No one is actually dead until the ripples they cause in the world die away. – Terry Pratchett I always wonder how many people have been touched by me. How many ripples I leave behind when it is finally my time to go. I am not a noble prize winner, …