As every time lately, I feel like I have something to tell. I sit down and get everything ready to start writing and then the white space in front of me starts mocking me.
So much has changed in the past 36 days. That’s how long we are in isolation. 36 days of which we had about a week of good weather to sit out on the balcony. 36 days of which we went shopping 3 times and I went to the trash bin outside just as often. For the rest it’s just Hass and me. And not even that. He still needs to work and wants to play WOW when he is off. So that means 8-10 hours truly on my own.
That’s not the bit that has changed. The bit that has changed is me not being able to go to town and watch people, so i feel more connected. Not being able to go and take photographs and enjoy the world from a different perspective and not being able to have those chance encounters in the street that made it worth living in a city. And that my mood and health is going through some real rollercoaster motions. I don’t have the virus, but my body is reacting to the stress and the depression that comes with it.
Also not going to school is a hard thing for me. I knew how much school meant to me as I booked it, but I didn’t understand how much my outlook on each week had changed, until that was gone again. Then I can’t just practice at home. Firstly, I was too late with getting material and secondary, I have not even half the tools I would need to make something decent. The first thing I would need is an actual flame to heat up the metal and make it workable or to close up a jump ring or such. Still, Im watching videos and reading books on how to do it.
Im not even bored. I have plenty to keep me occupied, learn, try, create. But the same happends when trying to write as with trying to create other art… I keep staring at the page.
Anyway. I keep reminding me that I don’t need to be productive now. I don’t need to be creative.
What is your greatest challenge right now, besides feeding yourself?